I caved...
Mr. Rigger (MY ROCK) crumbled...
She awoke at 12midnight and screamed for over an hour, I was nauseated i was so tired...
Mr. Rigger suggests we wait until shes older and she understands no....
So maybe I will still be feeding her when she goes off to college...
I'm still learning the meaning of NO!!!
Another day of fencing to come, Big Dog has the sickness, the power went out last night (back on now), its super cold out. Market is Saturday... Driving to the city tonight to go to my first pole dancing class... maybe...
I wanted to do something fun for me... for a break... for excercise, that i could handle... but life always seems to creep up and say "Not likely you can abandon your family for personal endeavours honey!" We will see how the day goes but i can already see it ending in disaster....
Its almost like i enjoy throwing our money away!! chickens, garden, exercise class, over spending on groceries this time (I bought the kids super expensive place mats and puzzles)... I'm tired and cranky and feeling very upset about the weaning...
Lord help me to serve others with a happy heart, to do my best at what i am able to do, to have compassion for growing babes and to put myself last.
Help me... help me... help me....
its 4:45am.... Lord help me!
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