The white knight returns....

Mr.Rigger was picked up from the airport at 330 yesterday. By 430 we were home, by 530 we had the truck unstuck and running water... By 630 dinner was on the table... 730 all kids bathed and by 830 all the kids and Mr. Rigger were passed out....

Everything back to normal.....

Hes gone to town to pay bills... Super fun and then dinner and Day one will be gone.. (This morning he re caulked the bathtud because it was raining in the kitchen again... Tomorrow we are supposed to go to the city, Big Dog has an ortho appointment, we are in need of grocheries, and Mr. Rigger wants to take me out for lunch. Its nice that he wants to take me out. I should be extatic... But the idea of driving two hours with a screaming baby (who since the accident is terrified of the truck.. and a mommy thats terrified to even loosen the straps) is not really appealing to me.. I would rather miss out on the "date" with mr. Rigger and risk the boys shopping on there own... just to avoid the screaming... So leave her with gramma right?.... Nope... that just passes off the screaming to another reciever... the other thing Ms. Birdie Gail cant stand... being away from me.... even five feet away at times... So if I go she goes.. Which comforts me... but also gives me lots of excuses not to go places. So what do I do?

Chickens...... Set to arrive in 52 days... still figuring out the coop and safest possible run for them..

Possibilites:
- Butcher Goats and Sheep... Fill freezer for the spring and summer, use their pen for chicks with perimeter and roof covered in chicken wire (pretty pretitor kitties and all)... issue... Killing our other animals to make room for new animals, im not sure if you have to leave pens empty and bleached for a while before you put in a different species...

- Remodel grainery to resemble a chicken coop... issue.... no electrical at this source

- the garage... issue..... lets just say that didn't go over well with Mr. Rigger (bad idea i guess)

So... in my current state of depression I think it would be best to go with possibility one... Then less work for me, less chores to force my children to do (literally FORCE at times) and then I can just forget the barns even there for a while.... 50 some odd days.....

I dont know...

What ever Mr. Rigger decides will be fine. I will go along with it.

Thats my new coping mecanism. I cant imagine what it must be like for the others around me to have to live with my choices... My mum who loves me without any restriction, to move to the province i jumped to live in... not once... not twice but three times! My children who have been put on the back burner while i pick fights with Mr. Rigger and make him feel like crap... Leave him, come back, leave him, come back... arrgg im a sad excuse for ..... whatever I am...

So as I was saying, I will no longer be the leader, or decision maker... I am leaving it all in Mr. Riggers court... Which may in a way punish him.. But at least it wont punish him as much as I do. He does the finances, with imput from me, he takes care that we have the money for grocheries. But to take it a step further he can be here when we shop, he can take care of all the finances with No imput from me. I will live with what is given...

Its gonna be an adventure onto its own i'm sure..

BUT

If things dont get done... thats okay... if things are not done how I wanted them... thats okay... If things are hard... thats okay... If things are unbearable at times....take a breathe.... thats okay... I will not have caused it...

What an awful cop out huh?

Right now its about all I got... Off to do more laundry and put the bread in the oven, Mrs. Domestic they shall call me......

Ms. Proper was highly insulter that i didn't put her puppet on this blog but I put the prims... so here is hers....