Submission... and the bloody goat ``literally``

I pray for the Lord to help me submit.. This is a VERY hard thing for me to do. My husband, as a husband should lead our home, make all the major desisions and take care of the finances. He is the husband and I am the wife, the care taker, the see to it lady, i`m the educator, the ``homeMAKER``...

It is so hard to live this way when the HEAD is absent three quarters of the time, but I do try. If he changes rules I do my best to stick to them, If he tells the children or me to do something while he is gone I do my best to remind them and myself. But its hard, i heard once a woman writer who was the wife of a rigger title themself ``The married single mother``.... I feel that..

My mother is a wonderful woman who stays with me while Mr. Rigger is away and then within moments of his return leaves and comes back when he leaves again.. I feel so guilty about this, it is such a huge blessing to have the help and the company, but i feel as though she serves our family so much without anything in return, what could I possibly do for her... She seems angry and tired, she seems to be so selfless that it is to her own detriment. I want her to do things for her, but really IM SELFISH and I want her to be here with me. She is a great mum a great friend and a great help to us. 

But in so many ways I feel like she is around because maybe I CANT do it on my own. I feel bad when I think about that... We made this life and we ought to be able to handle it.. I CAN handle it, Im sure that there would be more crying and the children would have to learn more patience... the children would have to do more shores and laundry would not get done as swiftly (mum loves to fold laundry) but I am sure that we could manage.

Mums Birthday is coming this month on the 22nd and I havent the slightest what to do for her. She needs something thats just for her. She will be sure to tell me ``I just want a nice picture of the kids`` because she understands the money issues but Lord please help me to find a gift for this wonderful woman that will make her feel special. She deserves it so much..

THE BLOODY GOAT.....

Yeah....

mmm.....hmmmm....

thats about all I have to say about that....

And yes this is the same goat that we fished the magots out of all summer.... the same goat that ripped the flesh from his own hip becasue he was itchy... the same goat that wore the cone for ohhh so many weeks....

Perhaps he will learn someday! Its a pity he was born without horns and all but one things for sure he has definately got a hard head

So in other news, the same friends hubby came and changed another tire for me this morning.... (Such a nice guy) and so... Monday mum took the tire to the gas station for the tire guy to fix, he kept it over night and when mum went to get it he said there was nothing wrong with it. He checked and checked for leaks and nothing... his assumption was that when the tire was stuck in the ditch attached to the truck it maybe froze pulled away from the rim and that once it thawed out it was able to hold air again... okay!!! good theory, even slightly believable.... until said man changes tire today.... takes the jack out and PPPPFFFFFFFF..... tire goes flat before his very eyes......

Pausing to wîpe the tears of laughter from my eyes.....

Now we changed the blown tire for the flat tire because the spare is on the other side where the flat tire was... before it went to the tire shop to be fixed.....

hmmmm....

 Okay! I SUBMIT! Is there something I need to do at home.. maybe I have promised something and I havent come through... I dont know but what I do know is that Lord of ours has one heck of a sense of humor, and I should learn from that... However Mr. Rigger doesnt return for 6 more days and I only have 600 gallons of water left.... So heres hoping that he has a little grace in store for us.