Ask and you recieve... you might even get change.....

Change...

I love change.

Whether its the colour of a wall, a season, or a habit, even loss is change. But change always has its benefits.

I have been riding an emotional roller coaster the past few months. I have been hating everything and have lost all the joy that I had once experienced.

Things seemed to turn around this week.

Last week was a dark one, I was at a loss for all things. I was really angry.

I woke up Friday morning early... No one was up, but I sat on the stairs and prayed for God to guide me.

I was feeling very unhappy to serve others and I felt as though I was being walked on.

Hello... MY NAME IS DOOR MAT... whats yours??

So I prayed and as if the Lord himself put his hand out to comfort me. I felt this overwhelming feeling...

"You cant change who they are. But you can change you."

I went back to bed thinking hmm.. I know I cant change anyone... of course you cant change others. They are who they are and I know that..

But then when I woke up in the morning, I suppose my mind had time to process and It began..

A while back I decided to fill my place as the "traditional"mother and let Mr. Rigger make all the decisions in our home. Even I thought I was crazy...

But things have started to change around here. He wakes up and decides what he is going to do for the day and .. he does it... and its awesome... his quality is great and he is happy.

I cant change the kids... So I have stopped being involved with their bickering... I always intervened and helped them to solve there issues. Unfortunately they have become so dependant on that, they are unable to make Any decision on their own... times six kids... it takes up a lot of time during the day. So when they start, I say "Go talk to him/her" or "what are you going to do?" That's it! No more help from mommy, no undermining, no playing favorites, no bickering in my presence.

I can change me! ( With Gods help of course)

I am worth while. I am a child of God too....

And so it seems like there is less to be angry at, less to bog down the day.

As a mother I am happy to have a moment to sit and read to my babes, to talk to them, play cards, or grab a hug.

I can change me....