Growth and change

We are always growing... Our family grows, our children grow (much faster than we would like), our faith grows and shrinks at times, things develop, things change... its the way life goes...

Do you invite change or is it just a given?

Lately i have invited it, begged for it, prayed for it, tried to fake it, and even asked my kids to pray for it. I need some change!

Now of course things are changing, the summer has arrived, the yard has overgrown, the lambs and calves are becoming less of a full time job, things are always changing. I am changing.. I am becoming more reliant on my faith, more seeking to God and not my surroundings, more of a help meet, more conscience of my job as a mother. But I want things to change faster!

I want to wake up tomorrow and have the patience of Job... the ability to smile because i am joyful ALL THE TIME!, to be more energetic, to not have a sore back, to plan our day and have it work out... I want to be meek and serving, not to feel put upon, I want to be positive, light, carefree, happy.

At this point I am trying to change my habits to those with the above traits. But it is a slow slow slow process...

Just keep on truckin' i guess... i know it is something that is learned for those of us not blessed with such traits, i just wish it would come quickly.

I am busy all day long. I know we are raising a family and that keeps a gal busy. I know my work is worth while, i know what i do everyday makes a big impact on my family, I KNOW...

But at the end of the day.. Something is missing. maybe its my acceptance, maybe its that Superman's not here to share it with, maybe i have forgotten something that needs to be done, maybe its a baby.... Its something.... I just cant figure out what it is....

Until we receive that blessing i guess i will just have to MISS something....

but its not fun...

it keeps you up at night, it wakes you up early, it makes you want to do more, seek more, help more, be more, so you can figure out what IT is... But you never figure it out...

I welcome you "IT"!!!